1981 Chariots of Fire vs. Arthur

1981 Chariots of Fire

This review is in two parts.  I reviewed it initially based on my recollections from a long time ago, and then again after another more recent viewing.

Initial Review: Another one I need to watch again.  It's about running...which now makes me wonder, why is it called "Chariots of Fire?"  There aren't any chariots in it that I recall.  I have no further thoughts or memories about this film -except the music, which I was already familiar with.  Controversial whether this should have won.  Not coming out the same year as Raiders of the Lost Ark and, one of my personal favorites, Arthur.

Sybil and Abrahams.

After re-watching: Having no real recollection of this movie, I watched it again.  It is actually quite good.  Very, very British, which is always entertaining.  It features catchy Gilbert and Sullivan music throughout.  I like Abrahams' girlfriend, Sybil -she dresses like Lady Mary from Downton Abbey (similar time period).  And I finally placed her: she was the Borg queen in Star Trek!  It's about two runners: Abrahams (A Jewish runner determined to win), and Liddell (a Scottish runner from a very, very devout Christian family).  Liddell's sister needs to chill.  I mean, being devout is one thing, but seriously, calm down a bit -Liddell running is not the end of the world.  It's not like he's doing drugs or killing puppies for gosh sakes, he's RUNNING!  The girl needs a nice massage or a day at the spa -except she'd probably think that that was a sin.  Liddell finally tells her, "I believe God made me for a purpose, but he also made me fast.  And when I run I feel His pleasure," which seems to soothe her a little.  The opening scene was a little silly (the famous running on the beach scene to the classic music was all a little melodramatic for my taste).  Overall a good movie.

And here is an explanation of the title, from Wikipedia:

"The film's title was inspired by the line, "Bring me my chariot of fire," from the William Blake poem adapted into the popular British hymn "Jerusalem"; the hymn is heard at the end of the film."  The line is: "Bring me my bow of burning gold, bring me my arrows of desire, bring me my spear, O clouds unfold, bring me my chariot of fire."

Still, I think Arthur was probably the best movie that year.

1981 Arthur

"Everyone who drinks is not a poet.  Maybe some of us drink because we're not poets."

Neighbor: "MY HUSBAND HAS A GUN!"
Arthur Bach: "I'm sure he does, Madam.  For all I know, he shot it while you screamed."

Once again, I think the Academy neglected a really amazing comedy.  Comedies seem to get the short end of the stick at the Oscars.

Arthur has one of the funniest scripts of all time, with incredibly smart dialogue, and awesome performances by Dudley Moore, Liza Minnelli, and John Gielgud.  And it makes you cry, so you've got it all -laughter and tears.

Tyler says I describe plots a bit much in my reviews, but to heck with it, it's my blog, and if I like the stories, I'm going to talk about them.  AND I'm going to over-quote again, because this script really is brilliant.  You've been warned.

So here's the story:

Arthur Bach (Dudley Moore) is from a rich, and I mean RICH, family: "All I can tell you is, I wish I had a dime for every dime I had."



He is the only heir to the Bach family business, but mostly seems content to live like a grown-up child, playing, drinking, and carousing: "I race cars, I play tennis, and I fondle women, BUT!  I have weekends off, and I am my own boss."  When he first appears, he is being driven around by his tolerant, amused driver, Bitterman.  Arthur is drunk and picks up a prostitute, before spending the evening partying around town.  He takes her to a fancy restaurant, shocking the other patrons, but he is tolerated by the staff because of his money.  He is a friendly, humorous drunk, who frequently bursts out in loud guffaws of laughter (sometimes seemingly out of the blue: "Sometimes I just think funny things!"), and cracks jokes as often as possible: "You're a hooker?  Jesus, I forgot!  I just thought I was doing great with you!"  They meet some of his relatives, and he introduces his "date" (obviously a prostitute) as "Princess" Gloria, saying that she is the princess of a very tiny country: "It's terribly small.  Tiny little country.  Rhode Island could beat the crap out of it in a war.  THAT'S how small it is..They recently had the whole country carpeted.  This is not a big place."  His relatives are not amused, and leave, but Arthur is not perturbed, and continues to have a great time.

Arthur's best friend is his butler, Hobson, who has taken care of him since he was a child.  He perfunctorily ousts Gloria the next morning:

Hobson: Thrilling to meet you, Gloria.
Gloria: Hi.
Hobson: Yes...You obviously have a wonderful economy with words, Gloria.  I look forward to your next syllable with great eagerness.

He then helps Arthur prepare for the day (one of my many, many favorite scenes):

Arthur: Hobson?
Hobson: Yes.
Arthur: Do you know what I'm going to do?
Hobson: No, I don't.
Arthur: I'm going to take a bath.
Hobson: I'll alert the media.
Arthur: Do you want to run my bath for me?
Hobson: It's what I live for.

And as Arthur bathes, he keeps him company, in yet another of my favorite exchanges:



Arthur: Oh, stay with me, Hobson.  You know I hate to be alone.
Hobson: Yes, bathing is a lonely business.
Arthur: Except for fish.
Hobson: I beg your pardon?  Did you say "except for fish"?
Arthur: Yes... fish all bathe together.  Although they do tend to eat one another.  I often think... fish must get awfully tired of seafood.  What are you thoughts, Hobson?

Hobson is concerned that Arthur find something to do with his life, because he is getting older, and he worries about what will happen to Arthur when he is gone.  John Gielgud won the Oscar for his role as Hobson, and it was very well deserved.  His sense of humor is so cutting and dry it has me laughing just thinking about it.  He shows the perfect mix of acidic contempt for Arthur's antics, and devoted, fatherly love and affection.

Hobson: I don't want you to be alone.
Arthur: I'll never be alone.  I have you.  God, isn't life wonderful, Hobson?
Hobson: Yes, Arthur, it is.  Do your armpits.
Arthur: A hot bath is wonderful...Girls are WONDERFUL!
Hobson: Yes, imagine how wonderful a girl who bathes would be. Get dressed.

Bitterman.

Though he will severely criticize Arthur's behavior ("You're a man who has everything, haven't you, but that's not enough.  You feel unloved, Arthur, welcome to the world.  Everyone is unloved.  Now stop feeling sorry for yourself.  And incidentally, I love you."), he is fiercely loyal and protective of him.  While visiting Arthur's father's office, a worker trash talks Arthur's frivolous, playboy ways to Hobson:

Executive: He gets all that money.  Pays his family back by...by...by bein' a stinkin' drunk.  It's enough ta make ya sick.
Hobson: I really wouldn't know, sir.  I'm just a servant.
Executive: Yeah.
Hobson: On the other hand, go screw yourself.

Underneath his wealth and exuberant appearance, Arthur is clearly unhappy with some aspects of his life.  He is controlled by his family, who largely neglected him as a child, and feels like he has no real freedom in his life.

Susan.

Arthur's father and grandmother are concerned about Arthur's behavior and his future.  They have decided that he will marry Susan Johnson, the upright daughter of a rich man, who seems to dote on Arthur in spite of his flagrant abhorrence for her:

Susan: A real woman could stop you from drinking.
Arthur: It'd have to be a real BIG woman.

Arthur doesn't want to marry her, but agrees when he threatened with being cut-off from the family fortune.  Hobson initially supports the plan, telling Arthur, "Poor drunks do not find love, Arthur.  Poor drunks have very few teeth, they urinate outdoors, they freeze to death in summer.  I can't bear to think of you that way."

So Arthur goes to her house to propose, doing a priceless imitation of Susan's butler's shuffling walk.  He's drunk again, of course, and tries repeatedly to get the butler to break his stoic demeanor and laugh, to no avail:

Butler: Miss Susan is expecting you.  She's dressing.   I will inform her you're here.
Arthur: Tell her Chief Inspector Flanigan from homicide is here.  That should get her down in a hurry.  Nothing.  Offer to take my coat.
Butler: You don't have a coat.
Arthur: Well, offer to take my tie.   It's a little joke.  Take the rest of the week off.  You're obviously under a lot of tension.
Butler: Would you care to wait in the library?
Arthur: Yes!  The bathroom is out of the question!   That's another little joke.
Butler: Follow me, please.
Arthur: I'm a little nervous.  I'm getting engaged.
Butler: You may wait in here.
Arthur: Thank you!
Butler: Is there anything you care for while you wait?
Arthur: Do you have today's Pravda?  I like to keep up with Russia.  Then fill a glass with scotch.  Are you sure you want to be a nightclub comic?

But around the same time, Arthur meets waitress/aspiring actress Linda Marolla (Liza Minnelli).  He discovers her stealing a tie from a store to give to her father for his birthday, and steps in to prevent her being arrested:

Arthur: Hobson, did you see that?
Hobson: Yes.
Arthur: She stole that tie!  It's the prefect crime; girls don't wear ties!  Although some do; it's not a perfect crime, but it's a good crime.
Hobson: Yes; if she murdered the ties it would be the perfect crime.  Why are you so happy about all this? 
Arthur: The man following her is a security guard.  We've got to be calm!  Isn't she beautiful?  Jesus!
Hobson: May I ask what have we to do with this?
Security Guard: I beg your pardon, miss.  I'm the security guard in the store.
Linda: You don't need the badge.   No customer would wear that jacket.
Security Guard: I must look in the bag.  I saw you put something in it.
Linda: You got trouble, mister.  You'll never work on the East Coast again.  What's your name?
Arthur: She's sensational!
Hobson: She does have a certain Eleanor Roosevelt quality.
Linda: What's your address?  The address, Chester!  I'm not fooling!
Security Guard: I saw you put a tie in that bag!
Linda: What did you say?!   All right, that's it!  I want a cop!   Get me a cop!  We need a cop here!  Don't move from where you are.   I don't want you out of my sight!  Get me a cop!  Get your hands off me.
Arthur: I'm Arthur Bach.  I'll straighten this out.
Security Guard: Mr. Bach, you really should stay out of this.
Linda: Well, he's in it, Chester.  Tell him, Alfred.
Arthur: I know this woman.  We're shopping together.
Linda: Where the hell have you been?



Arthur is instantly fascinated by Linda, and pursues her further, requesting her phone number.  Hobson is less impressed by the peculiarly dressed, outspoken waitress, saying, "Thank you for a memorable afternoon.  Usually one must go to a bowling alley to meet a woman of your stature."  Linda tells Arthur, "Wouldn't it be funny if he called me?"  Come on, how can you not LOVE this dialogue?  And they deliver the lines so flawlessly.

Bitterman drives her back to her lower class neighborhood in Arthur's fancy car, and Liza Minnelli is hilarious as she makes a show for her neighbors:

Linda: Could I sit here until one of my neighbors walks by?  I want someone I know to see me get out of this.
Bitterman: I understand.
Linda: Here comes Mrs. Nesbit.  This should kill her.
Bitterman: Don't touch the door.  I'll do it.  Mrs. Nesbit deserves the entire treatment.
Linda: Thank you, Bitterman.  Well, hello, Mrs. Nesbit!
Bitterman: Will that be all, madam?
Linda: I think so.  Have a nice evening, Mrs. Nesbit.

Linda and Arthur spend some time together, and have a great time.  They quickly fall in love.  She finds his childlike enthusiasm for life charming, and he loves her spunky, good-hearted nature:

Arthur: I've never taken care of anybody.  Everybody's always taken care of me.  But if you got sick, or anything, I'd take care of you.
Linda: Then I'll get sick.

Eventually, he reveals the truth: that he has to marry Susan, and he can't have a future with Linda.

Linda is surprised when Hobson shows up at her apartment.  Her father answers the door, and Hobson drolly quips: "If you and your undershirt will walk two paces backwards, I could enter this dwelling."  Hobson further surprises Linda by inviting her to Arthur's engagement party that night.  In spite of his gruff manner, Hobson really just wants Arthur to be happy.  Linda goes to the party, and speaks to Arthur, but nothing has changed.  One of my favorite moments is when Susan stumbles upon him and Linda, and Linda puts on a hysterical performance to cover up what's happening:

Susan: I hope I'm not interrupting.
Linda: I'd say that if I were you.  We might as well tell her.
Arthur: You tell her.
Linda: My husband, Harold, went to prep school with Arthur.  Harold lost a fortune gambling.  He's sick!  He's a sick man!  But he's my husband.  I'm not one of your guests.  I came for one reason.  I came here to beg Arthur to lend us some money.  One of my kids...my youngest, my baby...needs an operation.   Harold hasn't kept up the insurance.  I don't know where to turn!   Do I have to go on?
Susan: No, of course not!  Of course not!

Probably one of my favorite scenes in movie history.  Liza Minnelli's delivery is beyond funny.

Everything comes to a halt when it is revealed that Hobson is dying.  Arthur drops everything else in his life to take care of Hobson.  He transforms his hospital room into an elegant suite, buys him presents, bribes the orderly into allowing restaurant food to be brought in, reads to him, and sits up with him to comfort him, hardly sleeping himself.

It is one of the sweetest, most touching moments, and definitely made me cry:


Arthur: Okay, let's open the presents.
Hobson: I'm sorry, Arthur.
Arthur: For what?
Hobson: For leaving you.
Arthur: You're not leaving anyone.
Hobson: Why, it's a basketball!
Arthur: What the hell?  I knew you didn't have one.
Hobson: If I feel the urge to dribble..I can always call the nurse.  I'll put this over here.  You purchased a choo-choo?
Arthur: Look, the wheels go round.
Hobson: I'm very pleased.
Arthur: Do you remember...when you used to play hide-and-seek with me?   I used to hide and you never found me!
Hobson: Did you know I never looked?
Arthur: Come on!
Hobson: Well, I looked a little.
Arthur: [Gives him a cowboy hat] One for you, one for me.  Put it on.
Hobson: I don't wish to put it on.  [Sees Arthur put his on]  I'll put it on.  If I begin to die, please take this off my head.  This isn't how I wish to be remembered.
Arthur: Aren't they great?  I've got guns and holsters too.  Look.  Just in town for supplies, partner.
Hobson: Arthur, I'm frightened.
Hobson: I know you're frightened.  And I'm going to take care of you.

And he does, day and night, running himself ragged.  His presence is a great comfort to Hobson,who gives Arthur one last piece of guidance:

Hobson: You can do anything with your life that you want to.
Arthur: What do you mean?
Hobson: Figure it out.  You see Linda Marolla lately?
Arthur: Linda Marolla?  Why would you ask about her?
Hobson: I don't know what I'm talking about.  I'm dying.
Arthur: Want me to read you Shakespeare?  Hamlet was in big trouble when we left off.
Hobson: No.  Arthur, you're a good son.

When Hobson dies, Arthur is devastated (let's face it, so was I).

The day of his wedding, he is completely sloshed, sitting at a bar and talking to another patron about Hobson's death: "One night at the hospital, he fell asleep.  I was watching him.  And then...he just kept on sleeping.  And I was all alone...I'm getting married soon...I don't love her.  I don't love her!...but there's this other girl.  She steals ties and gives them to her father.  She's funny.  I want her.  I want her!"  He decides to follow Hobson's last advice to him.  He is going to be with Linda after all, even if it means losing his millions, and he tracks her down.  They go to the church so Arthur can break the news, and then head on their way after a bit of a scene, in which Susan's father wants to kill them, but is stopped by Arthur's feisty grandmother:

Arthur: He's taking the knife out of the cheese!
Linda: Oh, my God!
Arthur: Do you think he wants some cheese?
Linda: No, I think we're gonna die!

Happily, Arthur's grandmother is not going to see him penniless, and Arthur is not disinherited after all.  Jubilantly, Arthur and Linda hop in his car to head to the park:

Arthur: Bitterman!  Do you want to double your salary?
Bitterman: Yes sir!
Arthur: Then open that door!

As I said I would, I have way over-quoted, but I don't care.  I just really love the script.  It makes me happy, it makes me sad.  I just love to read through the dialogue.

My pick for best picture.

Note: NOT to be confused with the re-make!