Jurassic World (2015)

Jurassic World (2015)

Claire: Corporate felt genetic modification would up the "wow" factor.
Owen: They're dinosaurs. "Wow" enough.
Claire: Not according to our focus groups. The Indominus rex makes us relevant again.

This is tough to write, because I know everyone loved Jurassic World, and I hate to take the unpopular view, but…I’ll just say it: I thought it was ridiculous. 

I should start off by saying that I loved the original movie.  It came out when I was 10, and was the scariest, most jaw-dropping movie I’d ever seen.  Watching what really looked like real dinosaurs on the screen thrilled me to the core.  I had to beg my mom to let me see it (after first making her tell me every little detail about the movie, and P.S. Gennaro getting eaten off the toilet was not as hilarious as when she described it –in reality, terrifying!).  Eventually, she acquiesced, with the understanding that I had to cover my eyes during the opening scene with the velociraptor.  Even with your eyes closed, that scene is scary.  Perhaps even scarier, because you don’t know what’s going on, but you hear those horrible Velociraptor noises and imagine what the hell could be happening.  I used to dive behind the sofa during the Dilophosaurus part because it freaked me out so much.  The effects were revolutionary at the time, and I have still yet to see dinosaurs as convincing as they are in Jurassic Park.  I have had more dinosaur nightmares than I can count, either involving being chased by a T-Rex in the woods, or by velociraptors in a house.  I read the two books and saw the original three movies (I liked The Lost World pretty well, the third one not so much).  So, to sum it up, Jurassic Park holds a special place in my heart, and I was pretty hyped for a new movie. 

In fact, I was so eager to see the new film that I went opening weekend, despite the fact that the previews made it look pretty awful (I’d heard Tyler imitate the “What kinda dinosaur they cooked up in that lab,” line so many times that I cracked up when I actually heard it in the theatre).  The plot, I thought, held promise: The park has opened at last, and then things go wrong.  I mean, who hasn’t wanted to see the park actually realized after first hearing John Hammond describe his vision? 

Jurassic Park Vs. Jurassic World

Unfortunately, the movie is just as unrealistic and goofy as it looked in the trailers.  I could pretty much tell from the first shot that it was going to be too slick and glossy for my taste.  Remember the egg hatching in the first movie?  It looked so real, with all the goo (scientific term).  My oldest daughter saw that scene (one of the very few scenes appropriate for her age group), and said, “Ew, what’s all that stuff?”  Icky, realistic, inside an egg stuff!  Jurassic World opens with two eggs hatching, and they’re all shiny and metallic-looking  –more like tiny robots than freshly hatched dinosaurs.  No grit.  No realism.

None of the characters are remotely interesting, deep, or worth paying any attention to, though Chris Pratt (Owen) is amusing.  In fact, to the movie’s credit, there are plenty of funny moments (some of them even on purpose), and it’s even entertaining at times.  The problem is the lack of believability.  Tyler always says that a good movie will let you get absorbed in the story to the point that you don’t even feel like you’re watching a movie.  When something completely lacking in credibility happens, you get pulled out of the moment and are no longer immersed in the movie.  This happens constantly in Jurassic World.  So many things cause you to furrow your brow in bewilderment.  How on earth does that technology work?  Exactly how far in the future have we gone, because those Gyrospheres look pretty futuristic, but Dr. Wu doesn’t seem to have aged that much…?  I thought this was modern day?  Why are they letting people kayak in a river full of giant dinosaurs?  The zoo doesn’t let us kayak next to the elephants and rhinos.  Even if they’re peaceful, they could accidentally crush those people.  Would the entire flock of Pterosaurs really head straight for the populace and go on a rampage?  No instincts to head for the trees and hide?  Nope?  Just blood-thirsty, people-eating rage?  Okay then.

A lawsuit waiting to happen.

There are obviously two major themes that the movie is going for, and they aren’t subtle.  One is that we live in a commercial world with people who are never satisfied and always want bigger and better things.  This may be true to a degree, but the movie takes it to such an extreme, in-your-face level that it becomes comical.  What I took from the movie is that the whole more-is-more thing is what the movie industry thinks people want, even when it’s not the case.  A great thing about the first movie is that you don’t see any dinosaurs full on (you catch the tiniest glimpse of the velociraptor in the aforementioned opening scene –unless, that is, your mother makes you close your eyes) until well into the movie, and you have to wait even longer to see any carnivores.  Suspense builds, making you increasingly eager to see the T-Rex and the raptors.  In this movie, they are in your face right from the beginning.  The T-Rex isn’t shy anymore, she eats goats on command now.  The animal big-bad, Indominus Rex, is shown right off the bat.  Killer dinosaurs everywhere!  Glitzy, flashy, tons of CGI.  It brings to mind Iron Man 3 (If one Iron Man suit is good, 50 are better!  I know, an even bigger suit!). 

Bryce Dallas Howard (Claire) says, “Our shareholders have been patient but let's be honest...no one is impressed by a dinosaur anymore. 20 years ago, de-extinction was right up there with magic. These days, kids look at a Stegosaurus like an elephant from the city zoo. That doesn't mean asset development is falling behind. Our DNA excavators discover new species every year. But consumers want them bigger, louder, more teeth.”

Yup, the kids will be bored.

What kids are these?  I don’t buy that people would be in any way bored of the one and only dinosaur park in the entire world so quickly.  On a sunny day, our local zoo is packed, and this is lions, tigers and bears we’re talking about, not frickin DINOSAURS.  I recently took my kids to Disneyland, which is about to celebrate its 60th anniversary, and it was still massively popular.  Dinosaurs (dinosaurs!) that can only be seen one place in the world are boring to people after only, what, ten years?  Really?  I mean, we may live in a commercial world, but people aren’t THAT jaded.

The second theme is clearly to do with the plan to use velociraptors for military operations.  Hoskins is the human big-bad, all greed and lack of respect for animals and nature, with a desire to kill and destroy using the newest, deadliest weapons.  Basically, he’s a caricature of a man, and a delusional one at that.  The idea of using the velociraptors in combat is so stupid that you’re not sure why he isn’t in a hospital having his head examined.  They are barely trained, vicious, ready to eat their handlers at a moment’s notice.  One of Tyler’s favorite lines to make fun of goes something like, “Imagine if we’d have had these at Tora Bora!”  Yes, they’d run wild, killing their handlers.  Then they’d probably go after civilians and decimate the local livestock population.  It would have been awesome.  WTF is he thinking?  Without even getting into the ethical issues, it’s just plan insane.

The Velociraptor training was one of the things I was most skeptical about going into the movie.  The first scene showing them being trained was actually better than I expected. Owen’s clicker-training them with food rewards to get them to move around their cage and stop on command, and he’s training them from a safe distance.  This actually seems quite practical.  It would make sense that they would train intelligent animals in this way to make it safer to feed them, give them veterinary care, etc.  When someone accidentally falls into the cage, they are quite ready to eat him, and Owen barely manages to saves the guy (and himself).  Believable enough.

Then the movie makes a huge leap out of the realm of credibility, and all of sudden, the raptors are running alongside Owen on his motorcycle, not trying to eat him, following commands, no problem, because he is their “Alpha.”  How did this transition happen?  What happened to him just barely staving them off, diving to safety as they chased him, snapping at his heels?  The raptors-hunting-I-Rex plan goes all awry, of course (predictability is key in this movie –every death is expected, which is helpful, because you don’t have to deal with pesky feelings of suspense), and the raptors team up with I-Rex (“Watch your six! Raptors got a new alpha!”  Groan.). 

If only someone could have predicted that letting the raptors out would be a bad idea.  I mean, “Damn it, even Nedry knew better than to mess with the raptor fences.”  Sigh. 

Claire, the dumbest Park Operation’s Manager of all time (when I-Rex gets out, she decides not to evacuate the island, because why cause a panic?), decides that the key to containing I-Rex is ignoring the advice of her best animal handler and releasing MORE dinosaurs.  We have a dinosaur on the loose.  I know, let more of them out!  Let the raptors out!  Let the T-Rex out!  Why, my ten year old nephew is right, we DO need more teeth.  “Open Paddock 9!”  Hell, let’s just open ALL the paddocks!  Fences schmenzes.  Free the dinos! 

The most unbelievable moment of all involves Claire leading the T-Rex to the I-Rex to get them to fight.  She leads it like a puppy, luring it with a flare, in her high heels, running three feet in front of it without it ever gaining ground.  I thought Hammond “clocked the T-Rex at 32 miles an hour?”  Can Claire run 32 miles per hour?  Is it just taking its sweet time getting up to speed?

No worries, these heels are turbocharged.

Tyler was laughing so hard during the subsequent raptor/I-Rex/T-Rex fight that he was crying.  He later provided voices for the dinosaurs in this scene.  The lead raptor, staring down I-Rex: “I don’t think so.”  Then, when the raptor exchanges a knowing glance with Chris Pratt: “Run.”  Later, when you think the raptor is dead, and it reappears to help T-Rex: “I didn’t hear no bell.”  If you listen very closely, you can almost hear Eye of the Tiger playing.  It’s all unintentionally hilarious.  They were clearly going for a repeat of the moment in Jurassic Park when the T-Rex appears at the last second and kills off the raptors (saving the humans), but in this case, they went way too far.

My favorite part of the movie, the part that actually felt relevant and made me think, was when Dr. Wu pointed out that what they created were never really dinosaurs: “You are acting like we are engaged in some kind of mad science but we are doing what we have done from the beginning. Nothing in Jurassic World is natural! We have always filled gaps in the genomes with the DNA of other animals and if their genetic code was pure many of them would look quite different but you didn't ask for reality; you asked for more teeth!”  It was an interesting point, and explained why the dinosaurs wouldn’t necessarily look/act exactly how scientists believe they would.

Like I said, it is entertaining, if you can completely suspend all disbelief.  The effects are good.  There are some funny moments (Claire: “So, you can pick up their scent can't you? Track their foot prints?” Owen: “I was with the Navy! Not the Navajo!”).  But if you loved the first movie, and are hoping for some of the same realism, this is going to be a big disappointment.

Mad Max: Fury Road (2015)

Mad Max: Fury Road (2015)

Immortan Joe: You will ride eternal, shiny and chrome.

Rock Rider Chief: You said, “A few vehicles in pursuit. Maybe.” We count three war parties!
Furiosa: Yeah, well, I got unlucky. Let’s do this!

It’s been while since I’ve posted anything new, but Tyler has convinced me that I should start up again, and that I should start with my new obsession: Mad Max: Fury Road.  I should start by admitting that I had seen some of Road Warrior and Beyond Thunderdome, and wasn’t especially into them –they were strange and bizarre, and I just didn’t get them.  Well, Fury Road is also strange and bizarre, but this time I get it.  

It’s the best movie I’ve seen all year, and probably one my favorites ever.  I must confess that the only reason I was initially interested in seeing it was because Charlize was in it, and I liked her in Monster and Snow White and the Huntsman.  When Tyler and I finished watching it, he said that he liked it, and when I agreed, he thought I was joking, and I can see why he would think that: I didn’t like the originals (he did), I don’t like car-chase movies, it’s bizarre…but I loved it.  

The plot (spoilers ahead) is that in a post-apocalyptic world, Immortan Joe is a tyrant who controls access to the only major source of water in the wasteland, at a place called The Citadel (He splashes it down on the heads of his people periodically, which feels like a poor method of distribution, but is definitely dramatic, telling them, “Do not, my friends, become addicted to water. It will take hold of you, and you will resent its absence.”).  

Joe has five wives –breeders he is hoping will bear him a healthy son and heir.  The women are his prisoners and want desperately to escape.  Imperator Furiosa, one of his top commanders, busts them out, concealing them in her war rig when she is supposed to be going on a supply run.  When Joe figures this out, he and his War Boys (who worship him as a God) pursue her to get them back.  Max has been captured and is being used as a blood-bag (a blood donor for the sickly War Boys, as he is a universal donor), and ends up strapped to the front of a vehicle belonging to Nux (one of the War Boys) as he joins the pursuit (“If I’m gonna die, I’m gonna die historic on the Fury Road.”).  There is a great moment where Nux pulls alongside Furiosa, and she, while in the middle of this flight for her life, looks over and sees Max strapped to the front of the car. She has a quizzical look on her face, like, “Huh.  Well, that’s new.”  And he glares back, like, “Shut up.”

The script is only like three pages long, which shocked me, because it doesn’t feel that way.  The characters express so much with gestures and facial expressions.  In particular, I do not know how Charlize shows such an array of emotion with her face.  I was in awe.

For me, the best part of the movie is Furiosa.  Her character is so interesting and cool that I was blown away.  She has buzzed hair, one arm and the coolest prosthetic arm ever (just one of the many small details that are everywhere is that you can see she keeps a wrench in her robotic arm), and she smears grease on her forehead as war paint.  There’s a point where, after her scuffle with Max, the grease has come off, and she takes a second to grab some more and smear it on –just another small thing that really adds so much.  On a shallow note, I love her outfit.  She wears the best pants ever (I want a pair).  I noticed instantly, of course, that Joe wears a massive skull codpiece.  It took me longer to realize that Furiosa also wears a crotch skull –what woman does that?  I love it.

The first thing I really enjoyed about the movie was watching Furiosa interact with her men.  Her lead War Boy, Ace, tries checking in with her to see why they are going off route, and she just gives him a scathing look like he is totally pestering her with stupid questions.  She finally vaguely says “We’re heading east,” and he accepts that, no more questions.  On a side note, he is climbing around the rig like a monkey, hanging off the outside of her door when he speaks to her, which is great.  They all seem quite able to climb around atop/beneath the vehicles no problem.  At one point, Furiosa does repairs on the rig while it is motion, just hanging from the bottom, easy peasy.  I need to learn to do that.  Probably not safe, but it looks so badass that it’s worth it.

Repairs

A Buzzard vehicle.

When Buzzards appear to attack the rig (they drive fantastic spikey cars –actually, all the cars in the movie make cars today look stupid and boring), she says they’ll just keep going and fight them off themselves, no need to turn back and meet up with the pursuing vehicles (her men have not yet realized that she has gone rogue), and says, “No.  We’re good.  We fang it!”  The slang is altogether fabulous (“Medicore!”).  Immortan Joe has called for backup from the Bullet Farm and Gas Town, and P.S. the flares he uses look so cool (different colors against the brown/red background of the waste) –the whole film is a visual treat; beautiful, with tons of details making it a feast for the eyes, everything interesting and unusual.  

"Oh, what a day! What a lovely day!"

Ace finally figures out something is wrong when Furiosa turns them into a massive dust storm (“What have you done? What have you done?”), and her men turn on her.  Nux pursues her into the dust storm (“I am the man who grabs the sun…riding to Valhalla! Witness me, Blood Bag! Witness!”) and crashes when Max subverts his attempt to suicide-bomb the rig with his car kamikaze-style.  End scene.  The dust storm is so frickin awesome I can’t even describe it.  Seeing it in the theatre, the scene ends and you just go “WOW.”

Max wakes up still chained to Nux, who is unconscious, and he sees the war rig stopped ahead.  He approaches, and in a wonderfully comedic moment, is surprised to see five gorgeous women washing themselves off in the desert while Furiosa does repairs –clearly the last thing he expected to find.  

"You're dead." "WTF?"
"You tricked me." "Now I'm mad."

Max quickly sizes Furiosa up as the dangerous one, and points his (useless, but no one else knows it) gun at her, instructing the Dag (one of the wives) to use the bolt cutters to cut the chain connecting him to Nux.  While the Dag attempts to comply, you can see Furiosa watching him like a hawk, itching for the moment she can strike.  The second he glances away, BOOM, she has closed the distance at a sprint and tackled him.  She gets the gun, pulls the trigger, and nothing.  The look on her face when she realizes that the gun doesn’t work is great –surprise, annoyance, anger.  

Then begins a major scuffle between the two leads.  The wives are trying to help, Nux has woken up and is trying to assist Max, and Max eventually gets the upper hand after a wonderfully choreographed fight.  Furiosa is so great in this scene.  Actually, great acting all around (Max, Nux, the wives, Joe, everyone).  You can see her frustration and desperation when he finally pins her.

When he fires bullets into the ground by her head to get her to stop struggling, she grimaces, because she knows he might be about to kill her.  At the same time, she can hear the music from Joe’s convoy (played by the guitar/flame-thrower playing Doof Warrior), and you can see her calculating how close they are getting.  The wives are desperate to help (not useless damsels, but helpful women, though not warriors like Furiosa, and clearly fearful of Max, as he does look and seem quite feral).  Losing her would mean losing their best chance of making it to safety (to the Green Place she was kidnapped from as a child).  Nux is delighted that Max has captured Furiosa alive (“Glory me, Blood Bag. We snagged her alive. He’s going to shred her. Shred her!”), and that they can return the wives and get rewards, but Max is not interested –he just wants to get away.

Nux: Oh, look at that. So shiny, so chrome. He’s gonna be so grateful. We could ask for anything. I wanna drive the War Rig. What are you going to ask for?

Max: That’s my jacket! [Taking the jacket Nux is wearing]

Nux: Sure. You can ask for more than a jacket.

When Furiosa realizes that Max neither intends to shoot her or turn her in to Joe, you can see her mind working, and she quickly and cleverly changes tactics, trying to convince him to let them all back onto the rig with him.  Because she has set a kill switch in the rig, he eventually agrees (Very practical of her.  If I put a passcode on my phone, it makes sense she would put one on her War Rig.  Sensible):

Furiosa: Kill switches. I set the sequence myself. This Rig goes nowhere without me.

Max: You can get in.

Furiosa: Not without them.

Max: So we wait.

Furiosa: You’re relying on the gratitude of a very bad man. You’ve already damaged one of his wives; how grateful do you think he’s gonna be? You’re sitting on 2,000 horsepower of nitro-boosted war machine. I’d say you got about a five-minute head start. You want that thing [a metal mask] off your face?  Let’s go.

Seeing the trust develop between the two out of necessity is great.  Initially, he is holding her at gun point, and collects all of her many weapons from the front of the rig (minus one knife that he misses).  Quickly, however, she is forced to put her trust in him by giving him kill switch, knowing he may need to drive the rig (Furiosa: Hey. What’s your name? What do I call you?  Max: Does it matter?  Furiosa: Fine. When I yell “Fool,” you drive out of here as fast as you can.), and he ultimately reciprocates by giving her guns back when they are attacked.  Their gun play as they flee is perfectly coordinated, and, I’ll say it, totally sexy.  He’s tossing her guns, shooting between her legs while she shoots out the top of the rig.  Terrific stuff.

There’s not much conversation between them, but Furiosa does tell Max at one point that she is seeking redemption, and you realize that she must have done some pretty bad things to rise so high in Joe’s army.  She had developed a bond with the five women, and is determined to get herself and the wives to safety.  She is very protective of them.  When the Bullet Farmer begins firing wildly at them (originally it’s “Just one angry shot for Furiosa!” so as not to risk damaging the wives, but when she blinds him, he goes berserk), she shields one of the wives with her own body, before getting them to safety.  Speaking of blinding the Bullet Farmer, I loved when Max gave her the gun to make that shot.  There are three bullets left, he misses with the first two shots, and she moves behind him, and is clearly itching for the gun, as she is a very good shot.  

His face shows he is reluctant to give up the gun, as I don’t think he is accustomed to accepting help, but he ultimately hands over the weapon, and she uses his shoulder to steady the gun and make the shot.  All this without words between them!

Nux becomes a main character after failing Joe one too many times and becoming despondent.  He forms a bit of a relationship with one of the wives, Capable, who is very sweet to him, and joins up with their little gang.  I like that he seems like just one of the War Boys, and then we get to know him and he becomes a great character –it brings to the forefront that all of the other War Boys probably have interesting backstories and are real people too, not just disposable battle fodder for Joe.

When they reach Furiosa’s former tribe, the Many Mothers, she seems a little awkward and out of practice at being part of the tribe, but is clearly emotional and happy to have found them.  When she finds out that only a handful of them are left, and that the Green Place is poisoned and now a swamp, she despairs –the hope she has been holding onto for so long seems dashed.  More amazing acting.  After initially saying he’s going to go his own way, Max decides to help them form a plan to go back from whence they came and take Joe’s Citadel while it’s undefended.  “It’ll be a hard day,” is the understatement of the century.  The Many Mothers (some of them quite grizzled, but still tough, ballsy, and awesome with guns) join them.  

I should take a minute to mention that I really do think that this is, if not actually a feminist action movie per say, definitely a female-friendly action movie.  It’s edited by a woman, and I can see that she focused a lot on expressions, reactions –not just things blowing up, but the people involved.  The female characters (and there are many) are all unique and interesting, and have different strengths and weaknesses.  The Splendid Angharad is the leader of the wives, and even Furiosa listens to her when she tells her not to kill Nux (“No unnecessary killing!” “This War Boy wants me dead!” “We agreed! He’s kamakrazee! He’s just a kid at the end of his half-life.”), but when Furiosa asks her to reload her weapon, it’s Toast the Knowing who steps in. 

 

Cheedo the Fragile, who appears the most fearful, ultimately helps Furiosa by cleverly getting Rictus Erectus (that name!) to bring her to Joe’s vehicle where she is able to help Furiosa climb aboard.  Capable is gutsy, and shows great compassion.  The Dag is a bit peculiar, but quite funny.  Basically, the female characters are complicated and fleshed out (not one-dimensional).  It’s an action movie that appeals to women as well as men.  Never have I enjoyed car chases this much!

The final car chase back to The Citadel really shows how much Furiosa and Max have come to care about each other in their own way, and it’s pretty much all told with their eyes.  You see, when he’s in danger, the concern she feels written on her face, and she saves his life multiple times.  

 
 



After Max falls off of the rig, she catches him and hangs on, even when she is stabbed.   When he discovers that she’s hurt badly, you can see how desperate he is to get back to the rig and help, though that’s easier said than done when Polecats keep plucking you away (the stunts are amazing by the way, and I love that they are practical stunts, not so reliant on CGI –I am not a big fan of green screen), and you have a guitar that spits flames in your way.  

Furiosa is in bad shape after being stabbed –not like in some movies where the protagonist gets shot many times and is still fine.  She is in trouble and weakening fast, but gives the wheel to Nux so that she can go after Joe.  I love that she takes Joe down herself, and not in a big brawl, but with a quick growl (“Remember me?”) and a thrust of his mask into the wheels, which tears off his face (not especially gory, despite how it sounds –the movie is rated R, but really there’s no language, barely any nudity (from a distance and obscured), and not much gore –though they do have women they milk, which is creepy as hell).

Furiosa is badly hurt, and Max grabs her and helps her up, then saves her life.  It’s super sweet, because you can see that he has really connected with other people at last, despite how hard he tries to avoid it, and that he cares about Furiosa.  Not enough to stay, of course.  He is still off like a shot after seeing them back to the Citadel, but still.  I wish he’d stayed, but Tyler assures me that that’s not who he is.

Awesome awesome awesome.  A fantastic movie.  I have already pre-ordered it on itunes so that I can get it August 11^th (then I can get the DVD with special features on September 1^st), but that feels so far away! 

I would love so much to see another movie with Furiosa in it, but it sounds like Charlize doesn’t want to do another one.  Maybe now that the movie has made so much money they can lure her back at some point with a hefty pay day, but I’m not getting my hopes up.  Tyler says they can make a different cool female character, but I’m stubborn –I like Furiosa!  

I’m sure there is so much more I could say, but this is pretty long now.  I hope Tyler will chime in with his thoughts.