Stage Beauty (2004)

Stage Beauty (2004)



Ned Kynaston: A woman playing a woman? Where's the trick in that?

King Charles II: Why shouldn't we have women on stage?  After all, the French have been doing it for years.
Sir Edward Hyde: Whenever we're about to do something truly horrible, we always say that the French have been doing it for years.

While it didn't all quite fit together, I did find Stage Beauty interesting.

It is set (surprise surprise, if you've ready my other reviews) during the reign of Charles II, which is why I checked it out.  According the movie, it was illegal before the Restoration for women to act on the stage, so men played the female parts.  An actor famed for performing female roles was Ned Kynaston (Billy Crudup).  He has studied since he was a boy to master the art of playing women on the stage, and has received praise and acclaim for his skill.  When in costume, he is considered very beautiful, and he has even caught the eye of the Duke of Buckingham, the King's friend, with whom he conducts a clandestine affair.  His assistant, Maria (Claire Danes), is in love with Kynaston, unbeknownst to him, but she also aspires to be an actress.  Watching him night after night, she performs his part, Desdemona, in a small production of Othello.



Kynaston is angry when he finds out:

Sir Charles Sedley: So, Kynaston, will you see Mrs. Hughes perform?
Maria: Yes, I'd love to know what you think of the death scene.
Kynaston: Oh, I'm always interested in how my rivals die.

But when Nell Gwynne, the King's mistress, hears of her performance, and that Kynaston has refused to act alongside Maria, she pressures the King to not only make it legal for women to act on the stage, but to make it illegal for men to do so.

The real Edward Kynaston,
Ned and the Duke of Buckinham,
and a portrait of the real Duke of Buckingham.

Devastated, afraid he cannot perform male roles and abandoned by Buckingham, Kynaston sinks into despair (Buckingham is quite cruel and dismissive in his rejection: "I don't want you!  Not as you are now.  When I did spend time with you, I always thought of you as a woman.  When we were in bed, it was always in a bed on stage.  I'd think, "Here I am, in a play inside Desdemona."  Cleopatra, poor Ophelia!  You're none of them now.  I don't know who you are.  I doubt you do.").

Samuel Pepys (Hugh Bonneville of Downton Abbey), a contemporary who is famous for his meticulously kept diary, tries to comfort him, to no avail:

Pepys: You know, Mr. K, the performance of yours I always liked best?  As much as I adored your Desdemona and your Juliet, I've always loved best your 'britches' parts.  Rosalind, for instance.  And not just because of the woman stuff but also because of the man sections.  Your performance of the man stuff seemed so right, so true.  I suppose I felt it was the most real in the play.
Kynaston: You know why the man stuff seemed so real?  Because I'm pretending.  You see a man through the mirror of a woman through the mirror of a man.  You take one of those reflecting glasses away it doesn't work.  The man only works because you see him in contrast to the woman he is.  If you saw him without the her he lives inside, he wouldn't seem a man at all.
Pepys: Yes.  You've obviously thought longer on this question than I.

Kynaston is furious with Maria, mocking her lack of official stage instruction, but she holds her ground, while still sympathizing with his plight:

Ned Kynaston: I have worked half my life to do what I do.  Fourteen boys crammed in a cellar.  Do you know when I was in training for this profession, I was not permitted to wear a woman's dress for three long years.  I was not permitted to wear a wig for four -not until I had proved that I had eliminated every masculine gesture, every masculine intonation from my very being.  What teacher did you learn from?  What cellar was your home?
Maria: I had no teacher, nor such a classroom.  But then, I had less need of training.

In desperation, Kynaston tries to approach Nell, to see if she can influence the King to change things back, and bumps into Charles himself:

Kynaston: I want to act.
Charles II: Then act.
Kynaston: I want to act as I did before.
Charles II: You mean the girls' parts.
Kynaston: If you will.
Charles II: I won't.  Balance the scales, Kynaston, give the girls a chance...Act a man, Kynaston.  How hard can it be?
Kynaston: It is not a question of acting a man.  I can act a man.  There's no artistry in that.  There are things that I can be as a woman that I cannot be as a man.

Challenged to prove his argument by giving an impromptu masculine performance, Kynaston breaks down when he finds himself unable to put aside his femininity, and his impassioned plea dissolves into wretched tears.  Those witnessing the collapse look on in pity.

In a rare moment of solemnity, the once banished King observes: "Exile is a dreadful thing for one who knows his rightful place."

Kynaston slinks away in defeat and vanishes from the mainstream theater scene.

Maria and a portrait of the real Mrs. Margaret Hughes.

Maria, going by the stage name Margaret Hughes, has earned fame as the first female actress, while not necessarily displaying real talent.  As other women flock to the stage, Maria's lack of skill becomes increasingly apparent.  She laments to Pepys:

Maria: Mr. Pepys- who do you write all those little notes for?
Pepys: For myself, alone.
Maria: Do you enjoy it?
Pepys: I love it.  Don't you love acting?
Maria: Yes.  But unfortunately, I cannot do it for myself alone, for I fear in truth I am terrible at it.
Pepys: Oh, now!  Now, my dear Mrs. Hughes!  You are too harsh on yourself.  You made your debut as the first actress on the English stage.
Maria: Mr. Pepys, when I made my debut, was I a good actress?
Pepys: Mrs. Hughes, there was no comparison.

She seeks out Kynaston, obviously still in love with him.  His feelings remain unclear.  He seems to identify as a woman to a degree, and I thought he was gay, but he doesn't exactly seem put-off by her advances, and appears willing to explore a relationship with her, so perhaps he was bisexual.



He angers her when he interrupts their amorous activities to ask about her performance as Desdemona, and she berates him before departing: "Your old tutor did you a great disservice, Mr. Kynaston.  He taught you how to speak, and swoon, and toss your head but he never taught you how to suffer like a woman, or love like a woman.  He trapped a man in a woman's form and left you there to die!  I always hated you as Desdemona.  You never fought!  You just died, beautifully.  No woman would die like that, no matter how much she loved him.  A woman would fight!"

Ironically, considering this scathing critique, in her turn as Desdemona, she completely apes Kynaston.  Thomas Betterton (Tom Wilkinson), Kynaston's old theater manager, needs a successful performance of Othello, telling Maria, "My dear, the King comes tonight to decide whether to patronize my theater again."  Nell and Pepys beg Kynaston to come back and help her:

Nell Gwynne.

Pepys: If you could just take her in hand.
Nell Gwynne: Teach her some tricks and turns.
Pepys: Most of the play she'll get by, it's the end that's bad.  When she dies.
Nell: She's no good!  I say this as a friend.
Pepys: Mr Kynaston, have you ever seen Mrs Hughes on the stage?
Kynaston: I saw her audition, that was enough.  Why?  What's she like?
Nell: You.  She does you.  Every inflection, every bat of the eye, bits of business, vocal tricks...
Kynaston: Then she shouldn't be half bad.
Pepys: But it doesn't work!He agrees, on the condition that he play The Turk, and coaches her.

During the play, he genuinely attacks her on the stage, smothering her and almost killing her, resulting in an amazing "performance."  It's very intense as they audience watches in confusion and horror, not sure if what they're watching is real or part of the play.  When Maria suddenly gasps for breath and is revealed to be alive, there is obvious relief, and the play is met with wild applause.  What was Kynaston thinking?  He doesn't seem displeased that she is alive.  Did he actually mean to kill or, or no?  It sure sounds like he did:

Maria: You almost killed me!
Kynaston: I did kill you, you just didn't die.
Maria: Why didn't you finish me off?
Kynaston: I finally got the death scene right.

Regardless, she doesn't seem to care at all, and kisses him jubilantly.  It's a messed up relationship (I don't care if he elicited an amazing performance out of you, he tried to kill you, and that's not a kiss-worthy moment!), and left me confused, but it was entertaining.

Rupert Everett as Charles II and a portrait of the real Charles II.

Rupert Everett plays Charles II (he played Charles's father, Charles I, in To Kill a King).  He was pretty good.  Not my favorite Charles, but good.  Unlike John Malkovich, he emphasizes the more fun-loving side of Charles, but does also gives him some more serious moments.

Zoe Tapper as Nell Gwynne and a portrait of the real Nell Gwynne.

Zoe Tapper was very entertaining as Nell Gwynne, seducing Charles to get what she wants, and showing a lot of charmingly plain-spoken spunk.

Claire Danes and Billy Crudup were both excellent.  Crudup's part was very challenging, as Kynaston was a complex character.  Claire Danes played a more straight-forward part, but did it well.

In the end, I didn't entirely understand what had happened, or what would happen (it's highly fictionalized, particularly the relationship between Marie and Kynaston, so history can't answer where the film-makers pictured things going, but oh well).  Between the strong performances and the good script, it's worth a watch.

The First Churchills (1969)

The First Churchills (1969)



Wow, the hair!  It's historically accurate, but still hard to take the men seriously with wigs like that.  Ever since Tyler told me that excessive voice-overs are a weakness (show,don't tell), it bothers me, and this series has that component, with various characters providing narration.  I can see why it's included, as a wide array of characters are being portrayed, and from what I am now reading (to try to clarify what I'm watching), this was a complicated period in British history, with multiple people vying for the throne of England, religious conflict, and romantic and political intrigue galore.  Unfortunately, the sound quality on the DVD was not great, and there were no captions, so some of the narration was unintelligible.

It starts with Charles II as King.  James Villiers plays Charles, and I thought he was excellent.  He is how I picture Charles, with a good mix of levity and gravity.  It's not easy to capture both sides of his personality, and a lot of movies seem to pick one and skip the other when portraying him.

Charles and a portrait of the real Charles II.

His heir is his brother James, the Duke of York.  The Duke of York has two daughters, Mary and Anne, who were both raised Protestant.  Protestant Parliament does not want the Duke of York, a Catholic, to become King.  Many favor the King's illegitimate son, the Duke of Monmouth.  Others want him to divorce his wife, who has not born him any children, and attempt to have a legitimate heir with a new wife.  In addition, William of Orange, the King's nephew, also has his eyes on the crown, and by marrying Princess Mary, he strengthens his claim.  Charles refuses to endorse any of these candidates, or to allow any alteration to the line of succession:

"I will go very far to preserve the peace in my kingdom.  I shall enforce the laws against popery -aye, beyond reason.  Even to the allowing of the death of those I know to be innocent, if the law condemns them.  But their blood shall be upon their judges and upon their accusers -not, My Lord, upon me.  I will accept any measures which will ensure the safety of the Protestant religion.  But there are certain things that I will not do.  I will not put away the Queen.  And if you press for an impeachment against Danby, he shall have my pardon -aye, and I’ll pardon him 10 times over if need be.  And most important of all, I shall never agree to change the lawful succession."

Monmouth and a portrait of the real Duke of Monmouth.

If you read my review of The Last King, a lot of the same characters appear -including two of the King's mistresses, Lady Portsmouth and Nell Gwynne, briefly.

Lady Portsmouth with Charles II and a portrait of the real Lady Portsmouth.

Nell Gwynne and a portrait of the real Nell Gwynne.

AND the story isn't even officially about any of the people named above.

A portrait of the real John Churchill,
John and Sarah Churchill, and
a portrait of the real Sarah Churchill.

It's about Sarah and John Churchill (the first Duke and Duchess of Marlborough), two important figures operating during this time (Sarah politically and John militarily).  The series deals with a lot of military and political  issues that I didn't follow as well as I should have.  It was complex, and a little dull, particularly the last couple of episodes.  I preferred the interpersonal aspects, and paid more attention when those were depicted.

John Churchill received praise from Louis XIV of France
(above, next to a portrait of the real Louix XIV)
for his actions at the Siege of Maastricht.

When the series begins, Sarah is a lady in waiting to Mary of Modena, the Duke of York's second wife.  Things pick up for her when she befriends Princess Anne, and falls in love with John Churchill, a rising military leader.

Barbara Palmer and a portrait of
the real Barbara Palmer
(Lady Castlemaine and the Duchess of Cleveland).

John is having a fling with the court bicycle, Lady Castlemaine, while his family plans his marriage to an eligible and wealthy lady.  The powerful Lady Castlemaine is one of the King's mistresses, and when the King almost walks in on John and her, John jumps out the window rather than be discovered (this is based on a true event, though some say that he actually hid in a cupboard).  The King figures it out anyway, but takes in stride:

Castlemaine: If you believe what my enemies say.
Charles II: Your enemies, nay Madame.  But as for your friends, that is a different matter.  [Looks out window] Only a young gallant, and a brave one, could make such a leap.  But I know of one who might venture it…When next you see your cousin -
Castlemaine: My cousin?
Charles II: The one in the red coat.  He’s a horse and rascal, but tell him he’s forgiven.  He only does it to get his bread.

Portrait of Mary of Modena and Mary talking to Sarah.

This all comes to an end when he meets Sarah.  He is smitten, and though both of their families are against it, they get married with the support of Mary of Modena.  Together, they are a formidable force, as he predicts:

"Dear Sarah, this turbulent age will see great events.  And if we both live, we will be at the center of them.  Without vanity I know that I have the power to control men.  I have the strength and patience to win renown and fortune.  I crave both.  But if it were only for myself, I despise both.  What does ambition mean if a man thinks only of himself?  Coldness, corruption, and at the last, despair.   This was all my former ambition led to.  But now by the grace of God I have found warmth, sweetness, hope –and these I demand of you, if you love me, to keep ambition clean."

While he rises through the military ranks and achieves acclaim, Sarah's relationship with Princess Anne becomes closer, and her influence becomes stronger:

Sarah: If I am to serve you, I consider it my duty not to be a flatterer.  Nay, persons of high rank will always flattered by courtiers who will lie to them and cajole them to their own advantage, but this, Madame, I cannot do.  You show me great favor, more than I deserve -
Anne: Between you and me there is no question of favor.  Next to my husband you are my friend, my only friend.  Dearer to me than any sister.  And like a good sister ought, you shall tell me of my faults when you see them.  Never think to offend me by your frankness, I shall only love you the better for it.

A portrait of Prince George of Denmark,
George and Anne, and a
portrait of the real Anne, Queen of Great Britain.

Anne has a good relationship with her husband, George of Denmark, but none of their children live past early childhood.  She tells Sarah: "You know, tis a strange thing, they see to be quite gone from me already.  Though I loved them.  But they were here for such a little while, and now we’re left childless."

Her sister, Mary, likewise has no children with her husband, William of Orange.

After the death of Charles, the Duke of York is named James II of England.

A portrait of the real James II and James as the Duke of York in the series.

James subsequently fathers a son with his Catholic second wife, Mary of Modena.  Or does he?  Court gossip claimed that he'd had an imposter baby secreted into the birthing room in a warming pan:

Anne: Then, do you say, the bed curtains were drawn?  When?
Sydney Godolphin: About half an hour before the birth.
Anne: Who went inside?
Godolphin: Lady Sunderland, certainly.  What others I know not.
Anne: Was the child shown to the people there?
Godolphin: Not at once.  About one hour later we all saw a male child.
Anne: One hour later.  So that in that time –now what is all this about a warming pan?
Godolphin: Oh, you’ve heard of that?
George of Denmark: We heard of nothing else on the road…
Anne: Was a pan brought in?
Godolphin: There was, but who could possibly believe –
Sarah: Oh, believe it or not, every Protestant in England will swear a child was introduced.
George: Is it possible?  Is it possible?

This son was ultimately eliminated from the line of succession when James was deposed.  My opinion is that the child was his, but that's only because the whole warming pan scenario feels far-fetched to me, while the anti-Catholics making up a wild, baby-smuggling story like that feels very likely.

William of Orange officially made his move against James in 1688, after consulting his wife, Princess Mary:

Mary preparing for her coronation.

William: By every post I have letters begging me to go to England, with an army if need be.  But I am no Monmouth, I can await the right moment.  And if that moment should come, have you thought of your being queen?
Mary: Why yes, often.
William: And have you thought of what I should be?
Mary: Why, what should you be?
William: Whatever you as Queen should decide.  By English law you may confer any title and authority upon me.  Or give me none at all.
Mary: None at all?  But as a wife, whatever is mine must belong to you.
William: Not by law.
Mary: Then I shall abide by God’s law, and whatever happens you shall be the ruler.  The husband is never to be obedient to the wife.  [William takes her hand] I ask only that you follow your part of the commandment, “Husbands love thy wives as I shall look to mine.  Wives, obey your husbands in all things.”

I think what she's getting at is that she wants him to ditch his mistress.  Either way, he is clearly pleased with her answer, and sets off to invade England.  He becomes William III of England, and she Mary II.

A portrait of Mary II of England,
Mary and William, and a
portrait of William III of England.

James flees, lamenting to his wife, "What else remains?  What can I do when even my children have forsaken me?"  He vows to follow her abroad, telling her that if he stayed, "They’d put me in the Tower.  And then –no King was ever sent there and allowed to live.  Oh but have no fears for me.  I will come.  And later I shall choose my own ground for battle."  He is never King again, and when he dies, William is still in power, having outlived his wife.

Anne seemed to harbor some regrets about supporting her sister's cause.  At least, she expresses some after receiving a scathing letter of condemnation from her father:

Anne: After this, can I see my sister crowned?
Sarah: You can, Madame, and you must.  When a revolution is made, those who go with it, must accept the consequences, and you went far beyond neutrality in opposition to your father.
Anne: I did, but whether it was right to do so...

The relationship between the sisters was not good, and Anne considered Sarah more of a sister, though that "frankness" which Anne claimed to treasure in Sarah eventually came between them.  Anne grew tired of Sarah's incessant and pushy advice.

Anne preparing for her coronation.

After William's death, Anne became Queen in 1702.  Over the following years, her friendship with Sarah worsened until Anne refused to have anything further to do with her former best friend, and Anne left court.

Phew!  That's a lot of information.  Sarah also has many children with her husband, and the two appear to have had a happy, mutually advantageous marriage.  A lot happens, and like I said, my eyes tended to glaze over when they got too deep into political or (forgive me, Tyler) military discussions.

The show is good, and very educational.  It would be great if they released it again with subtitles.  Even better if they remade it into a series like The Tudors or Isabel with a high production value -it has the material for it, for sure!

Note: The death of Anne was the end of the Stuart line, and she was succeeded by George I of the House of Hanover (a second cousin).

George I and the real George I of Great Britain.

Dangerous Beauty (1998)

Dangerous Beauty (1998)

 

Veronica Franco: I repent there was no other way open to me.  I do not repent my life.

Dangerous Beauty is not a good movie, but it does have the benefit of some great costumes.

Portrait of the real Veronica Franco.

It is about Veronica Franco (Catherine McCormack, who played Murron in Braveheart), a famed courtesan in Vienna in the 16th century.

As a young woman she falls in love with Marco Venier (Rufus Sewell), an aristocrat.  Though he loves her back, he marries a wealthy woman to please his family:

Marco: You know we can't marry.
Veronica: I know only what you tell me.
Marco: I must marry according to my station and my family's wealth.
Veronia: Then why are you here?
Marco: Because I could not stay away.
Veronica: Then don't.
Marco: My marriage must be a marriage of state.
Veronica: My people are true citizens years back.
Marco: A coat of arms does not an inheritance make.
Veronica: I speak of love and you talk of money.
Marco: Of my duty.
Veronica: And your heart?
Marco: This isn't about my heart, it's about politics.
Veronica: How romantic.
Marco: Marriage isn't romantic. That's why God invented poetry.
Veronica: To sweeten men's lying lips!
Marco: If I were a liar, would I tell you this now?
Veronica: If you cared for me, you could not tell me this ever.
Marco: I want you.
Veronica: Not enough.



Veronica’s mother, a former courtesan herself, encourages Veronica to begin training to become a courtesan.  She needs to be able to support herself, and courtesans are able to earn an education, which other Italian women are not allowed to do:

Veronica: Mother, we can't go in there. Ladies can't go in there.
Paola Franco: Courtesans can.  The Emperor Pericles relied more for policy on his mistress than he ever did on his lieutenants.  Courtesans, my dear, are the most educated women in the world.

Henry III and a portrait of the real Henry III of France.

She ends up enjoying it.  She earns renown for her beauty and wit, and even helps to support the Italian cause politically by winning over the very strange Henry III of France in the bedroom.  All this causes trouble with Marco, who still loves her, but cannot come to terms with her profession:

Veronica: I could not refuse.
Marco: Couldn't you?  I think you like it.
Veronica: You like what it has made me.
Marco: I don't like what it makes me.

When courtesans fall from favor after the arrival of the plague, Veronica is charged with witchcraft, but escapes prosecution when Marco provides a passionate defense of her character and the other aristocrats, all ex-lovers, follow suit and stand up for her.

While I know that Veronica is based on a real person, her character still didn’t ring very true.  Everything seemed to come too easily for her.  I think they could have explored her personality and feelings a little more.  The acting was ho-hum, and the script was much the same.

It’s not a very original film, but Veronica's dresses are a feast for the eyes.  Otherwise, there's not much to recommend it.

To Kill a King (2003)

To Kill a King (2003)



Oliver Cromwell: You think it’s time Tom stopped running around taking risks for the nation.  My wife was the same when expecting her first child.
Lady Anne Fairfax: But by the second, you taught her obedience?
Oliver Cromwell: Some men have greatness in them.  You never saw Tom in battle.  That man was put on Earth to lead armies and build nations, not stay at home.
Lady Anne Fairfax: You’re quick at reading destinies.
Oliver Cromwell: You think I’ve misread his?  You think Tom should follow the path of his forefathers?  Suspect whatever is new, change nothing, question nothing.
Lady Anne Fairfax: I don’t believe I said that.  I’m not convinced that running so fast is the best way to proceed.

To Kill a King takes place at the end of the English Civil War.  The Parliamentarian army has defeated the Royalists, and Charles I is captured and in custody.

The central characters are Thomas Fairfax, a beloved general, and his fellow revolutionary, Oliver Cromwell.  Cromwell (Tim Roth) is ruthless in his determination to have the King executed, and a government based on his own ideals formed.  Fairfax (Dougray Scott) is a nobler character, fighting for what he believes in, but with more perspective and balance.

Dougray Scott as Fairfax and a portrait of the real Thomas Fairfax.

The friendship between Fairfax and Cromwell begins to unravel over the issue of the King, and what is to be done with him.  Fairfax's resolve is also shaken by his wife, Lady Anne Fairfax (Olivia Williams), who is from a Royalist family, and is still loyal to King Charles I, even visiting him during his imprisonment on multiple occasions.  She tells her husband, "We weren’t meant for this, Thomas.  Our families have always defended Kings.  You have a duty."  And when accused of aiding a failed attempt to help the King escape, she grows angry, saying, "I have tried to embrace your new world.  Tried to see why everything I once thought right and fit must be torn down because you and your friends say so."

Olivia as Anne and a portrait of the real Lady Anne Fairfax.

Fairfax tries to get the King to toe the line and agree to Parliament's terms, to no avail:

Fairfax: We have lost half our government to corruption and still await an olive branch from out King.  All the country hopes and would believe you care for the people’s welfare above all else.  If you would agree our terms, we could be certain of it.
Charles: Am I your divinely-appointed King set on Earth by God to rule this nation?
Fairfax: To reign, perhaps, rather than to rule.  As a shepherd cares for his flock.
Charles: Doubt the sanctity of our King, and you cannot by that reasoning think your own bloodline divinely privileged.  Even if some hypocrisy on your part allowed the Fairfax line to continue, I shall not grant it.  Your son will be plain “Mister,” General, and his sons too.  I hope your wife understands the sacrifice you make.
Fairfax: Your Majesty, please.
Charles: I sign here? [Rips up document] No man commands a King.  No man tells a King his limits.  A King rules by God’s grace.  Now get out.

But it really doesn't matter, as Cromwell is determined that the King must die.  He and Fairfax argue bitterly, Fairfax asserting, "We are jurors.  We are here to serve justice; this is a mockery of it!  You cannot, will not execute a man, a King, before he is found guilty!"

Tim Roth as Cromwell and a portrait of the real Oliver Cromwell.

Cromwell remains unmoved:

Cromwell: The King lives, or the man.  Patronage or opportunity.  Old world or new.  This is it, Tom.  This is our victory.  Our chance to set England free.
Fairfax: I am a Reformer, as I thought you were.  I will reform the King.  Anything less is brutal cowardice.
Cromwell: Too late.

Fairfax makes his opposition to the proceedings known when he interrupts the King's trial by leading Anne up to the King to let her bow to him one last time, and then escorting her out and abandoning the trial altogether.

Anne glares at Cromwell before walking out of the courtroom.

The two men part enemies, with Cromwell preparing to be named Lord Protector, and Fairfax leaving the political scene.  Cromwell still wants Fairfax's support, as Fairfax commands the love of the troops and the people, but he knows he's not going to get it: "Will you congratulate me, Tom?  I know you cannot.  You think I’ve fallen in love with gowns and glory, but you’re wrong.  I despise them.  You told me to study the lay of the land, so I have, and I see your countrymen must have a captain, a monarch of sorts."

Fairfax leaves in disgust, breaking with Cromwell forever: "Lord Protector was but another name for King and you are a cruel one."

Rupert Everett as Charles I and a portrait of the real Charles I.

Charles I is played by Rupert Everett, and I actually thought that his performance was the high point of the movie.  While an enjoyable movie, there's nothing exceptional about it, except for Everett's fiery and cunning portrayal of the doomed King (On a side note, Rupert Everett would play Charles's son, Charles II, a year later in Stage Beauty).  My favorite scene is one in which he is playing the harpsichord (I think it's a harpsichord), with Anne singing along, and Cromwell storms in angrily to confront him about his plotting with members of Parliament to return to power:

Charles: Can you hold a tune, Mr. Cromwell?
Cromwell: I have some business with the King.
Charles: What a pity.  We were just getting started.  You will come again tomorrow, my dear.
Cromwell: Well, Anne?
Anne: [Bows] Excuse me, Your Majesty.



As Anne leaves, she hears Cromwell begin to shout at the King:

Cromwell: Who proposed the deal, you or Holles?
Charles: I beg your pardon?
Cromwell: You think all men are born to be your playthings, given lips to kiss your hand, knees to grovel at the edge of your well-fingered gown?
Charles: You’ve lost me, Mr. Cromwell.

Cromwell slams down the harpsichord lid, horrifying Anne, and yells: "Parliament is not a whorehouse built to serve your private needs.  And if you expect to buy back the crown with your pirates’ gold, you’re not only a thief and a whoremaster, but a fool."

Then, with a steely glare, Charles responds in a formidable voice, sending Cromwell out of the room: "Is that so?  I think your mother omitted something from your early education, Mr. Cromwell.  Most men learn in the cradle that I am the King!  By divine appointment!  And will not be taught good government by you!"

He was so convincing, it gave me chills.

I must add that I don't actually know much about Charles I's real personality, but I gather he was not really as charismatic as Rupert Everett makes him.  Regardless, I liked how Everett played the part.

Just as an interesting little tidbit (to me anyway), Fairfax and Anne's daughter, Mary, later married Charles II's friend George Villiers, the 2nd Duke of Buckingham, who I have mentioned in a couple other reviews.

The Libertine (2005)

The Libertine (2005)

Rochester: Well freeze my piss if the royal finger ain't beckoning me.  How exciting.

Charles II: I handed you a chance to show your shining talent and what do you give me in return?  A pornographic representation of a royal court where the men only deal in buggery and the women's sole object of interest is the dildo!
Rochester: A monument to your reign!

I did not especially enjoy The Libertine, but I guess I didn't expect to after the first few minutes.

I watched it because it is set during the reign of Charles II, who I am reading about right now.  John Malkovich plays Charles, and while I enjoy him in some movies, I always feel like I'm watching John Malkovich AS someone, rather than watching a character (so this was like watching John Malkovich as Charles II, not Charles II himself, if that makes sense -there's no illusion).  Additionally, he doesn't have any of the liveliness, the charm, or the rakishness that I associate with Charles.  Instead, he is serious and stern.

John Malkovich as Charles II and a portrait of the real Charles II.

Johnny Depp's talents were wasted on this part, though he seemed to be enjoying himself playing an amoral, disinterested, I'm-better-than-everyone-else libertine.

He tells us right off the bat that we will not like him, in a prologue speech designed specifically to offend and shock.  He's right, the character isn't likeable, though his contemporaries seemed to appreciate his dry, vulgar wit.  The speech was pointless, as the qualities he describes himself as possessing are obvious throughout the movie; indeed, they are pounded into our heads over and over again.  Yes, he doesn't care about anything and is so smart, I get it.

A portrait of the real Elizabeth Wilmot, Countess of Rochester,
Rosamund Pike as Elizabeth with Johnny Depp as Rochester, and
a portrait of the real John Wilmot, second Earl of Rochester.

Depp plays John Wilmot, the Second Earl of Rochester, a real playwright and rogue of the 17th century.  Rosamund Pike, a likeable actress, is his wife, Elizabeth.  More wasted talent.  Her character thinks her husband is amazing, in spite of the fact that he's a self-absorbed drunk who treats her like crap when he's not abandoning her in the country.  She's a rich, beautiful woman with a bad boy complex.  Nothing surprising, but still sad.  She laments, "John, I would bear our marriage more easily if there were no pretense.  If I were merely a housekeeper and a conduit for the noble line.  But when you're away you write so beguilingly of how you love me and -I do not think you mean to torture me, but it is a torture to be informed of passion from a distance and then in the flesh to be so reviled."  But he can't offer to change his behavior or offer an explanation -he's going to do what he's going to do, and she can deal with it.

Samantha Morton as Elizabeth Barry
and the real Elizabeth Barry.

Rochester prefers whoring and womanizing, and the person who strikes his fancy most is an aspiring actress, Elizabeth Barry, in who he sees great potential.  She's not particularly beautiful, nice, or interested in him or his help, but she reluctantly agrees to be coached, after he convinces her that his motives are not to take credit for her talent:

Rochester: I wish to be moved.  I cannot feel in life.  I must have others do it for me here in the theatre.
Elizabeth Barry: You are spoken of as a man with a stomach for life.
Rochester: I am the cynic of our golden age.  This bounteous dish, which our great Charles and our great God have more or less in equal measure placed before us, sets my teeth permanently on edge.  Life has no purpose.  It is everywhere undone by arbitrariness.  I do this and it matters not a jot if I do the opposite.  But in the playhouse every action, good or bad, has it's consequences.



They begin an affair as his coaching pays off and her star steadily rises.

Meanwhile, Charles is struggling to deal with Parliament and France, and needs a play to impress the French envoys, so he turns to Rochester: "The time has come for you to pay your dues.  People listen to you, Johnny.  If you took your seat in the Lords, you could make great speeches that would influence events.  Anyone can oppose, it's fun to be against things, but there comes a time when you have to start being for things as well."

Rochester pumps out the most crass, sexual material he can manage for his play, as an f-you to everyone, I suppose, and ends up forced into hiding.  There is a humerous moment, before Charles puts a stop to the play, when one of the French nobles remarks, "That's very amusing, because in France he would be executed for this."  That gave me a giggle.

Later, as he is dying grotesquely from an STD, his body rotting away, he has some sort of religious epiphany:

Rochester: If God wants men to have faith, why does He not make us more disposed to believe?
Priest: Most men are so disposed.
Rochester: But not me.
Priest: Because you set your reason against religion.
Rochester: I despised reason.
Priest: You clung to reason.

I don't know exactly what the epiphany was, or what sparked it, but he decides to go make a speech in Parliament on behalf of the King -he doesn't do it FOR the King's, he is clear on that:

Charles II: Johnny, you finally did something for me.
Rochester: I didn't do it for you, I did it for me.
So what possessed him still eludes me.  He doesn't seem to have actually become a devout person, though maybe he had and I'm reading him wrong.  Perhaps I just don't care enough.  I'm not that interested in trying to analyze his character, or figure out his inner workings -I'll leave that to people like his wife, who saw something in his personality worth exploring.



He also returns to see Elizabeth Barry, who scorns him and wants nothing to do with him, giving him the same flippant consideration he seems to give everyone else, so that's kind of satisfying:

Rochester: Here we have him, your Restoration gent.  He's not pissed his breeches today and he can walk in a straight line for two hundred yards without falling on his face and retching.  Now, look you upon this picture and on this.  He has not washed.  He cannot walk.  And he most certainly will not be able to raise either the price of his dinner or his own pintle.
Mr. Harris: I must be got into my nightgown.
Rochester: This is what I envy in you stage people.  You make time seem so important.  I must change my clothes now!  I must make my entrance now!  But life is not a succession of urgent nows.  It is a listless trickle of Why should I's.
Molly: You're on.  Five minutes only, Mrs Barry.
Rochester: I never wanted you for a mistress, Lizzie.  I wanted you for my wife.
Elizabeth Barry: You have no understanding, do you?  It was not being your mistress that I was tired of, John.  I was tired of you.  I did not wish to be your wife.  I do not wish to be anyone's wife.  I wish to continue being the creature I am.  London walks into this theatre to see me.  Not George's play, nor Mr. Betterton.  They want me, and they want me over and over again.  I will not swap my certain glory for your undependable love.
Rochester: I wanted you to have my child.
Elizabeth Barry: I had your child.  A daughter.  When the theatres were closed in the summer.  By the start of the season I was flat enough to play Desdemona in a nightgown.
Molly: Two minutes, Mrs Barry, please.
Rochester: What is her name?
Elizabeth Barry: Elizabeth.
Rochester: Elizabeth?  The child of our passion.  When I bred my other children, I placed no value on human life at all, and now you send me away.  And I cannot go back to where I was before.  I shall never forgive you for teaching me to love life.
Elizabeth Barry: If I taught you that, then our account is settled.  Your lesson to me was my livelihood.  And mine to you was life itself.  We have no need to meet again.
Rochester: Lizzie.
Elizabeth Barry: If you are in London, and you have half a crown in your pocket, you may see me there.  For the rest, I hope I shall always be in your heart, sometimes in your thoughts, but never in your debt.

Then he hobbles home to die in the arms of his wife, who still loves him, but is undoubtedly better off without him, despite what she thinks:

Elizabeth Malet: I am ever your last resort.  When your mistress has kicked you into the street and the last whore in Covent Garden refuses to attend to you, then and only then do you come to me!
Rochester: I think you will never be a contented woman until you are a much-respected widow.  And I am hard at work on doing you that last good service.
Elizabeth Malet: I don't want you to die!  I want you to live, and live differently!



Lady, he's not going to change for you.  He doesn't care about you, he just cares for himself, get a clue!

Sorry if this is so negative.  The movie wasn't completely lacking in value, it was just so full of itself and proud of its own lewdness in an almost childish way (he said erection -teehee!) that it makes me want to roll my eyes.

I leave you with his opening speech:

"Allow me to be frank at the commencement.  You will not like me.  The gentlemen will be envious and the ladies will be repelled.  You will not like me now and you will like me a good deal less as we go on.  Ladies, an announcement: I am up for it, all the time.  That is not a boast or an opinion, it is bone hard medical fact.  I put it round you know.  And you will watch me putting it round and sigh for it.  Don't.  It is a deal of trouble for you and you are better off watching and drawing your conclusions from a distance than you would be if I got my tarse up your petticoats.  Gentlemen.  Do not despair, I am up for that as well.  And the same warning applies.  Still your cheesy erections till I have had my say.  But later when you shag -and later you will shag, I shall expect it of you and I will know if you have let me down -I wish you to shag with my homuncular image rattling in your gonads.  Feel how it was for me, how it is for me and ponder: 'Was that shudder the same shudder he sensed?  Did he know something more profound?  Or is there some wall of wretchedness that we all batter with our heads at that shining, livelong moment?'  That is it.  That is my prologue, nothing in rhyme, no protestations of modesty, you were not expecting that I hope.  I am John Wilmot, Second Earl of Rochester and I do not want you to like me."

Message received.

#98 Yankee Doodle Dandy

#98 Yankee Doodle Dandy



Erlanger: He's the most original thing that ever hit Broadway.  And do you know why?  Because he's the whole darn country squeezed into one pair of pants.  His writing, his songs, why even his walk and his talk.  They all touch something way down here in people.  Don't ask me why it is, but it happens every time the curtain goes up.  It's pure magic.

George Cohen: My mother thanks you.  My father thanks you.  My sister thanks you.  And I thank you.

This movie was better than I was expecting, and just as bad as Tyler was expecting.

He is not a fan of musicals, not even musicals with a lot of military songs (George M. Cohen originals, like Over There, The Yankee Doodle Boy, and You're a Grand Old Flag).

I tried to negotiate with him -if he watched Yankee Doodle Dandy with me, I would watch Blade Runner with him -but it was a no go.  The clever fellow picked up on the fact that Blade Runner is on the list too (#97), and that I will therefore be watching it anyway.  He caught just enough of it to know it was not for him.

I actually thought it was pretty good.  It's a biopic about George M. Cohen, a big name in musical theater.  He's played by James Cagney, who was amazing (he won the Academy Award for Best Actor).  I wasn't a big fan of his singing voice, but his performance was terrific, and he's an amazing dancer.  I don't think I've ever seen him in anything before, so I don't know if that's how he normally sings, or if he was impersonating Cohen's singing voice.  If he was impersonating Cohen, then I redact my comment.

James Cagney and a photo of the real George M. Cohen.

The movie was made in 1942, so I have to try to put myself into the mindset of someone from that time, in the midst of WWII.  It's extremely patriotic (Cohen: "It seems it always happens.  Whenever we get too high-hat and too sophisticated for flag-waving, some thug nation decides we're a push-over all ready to be blackjacked.  And it isn't long before we're looking up, mighty anxiously, to be sure the flag's still waving over us."), which isn't especially in vogue now for a lot of people, but was important for people at the time.  The movie that beat Yankee Doodle Dandy at the Academy Awards was Mrs. Miniver, another movie designed to raise war-time spirits.



The story was cute.  It showed Cohen growing up traveling with his parents and sister as part of a vaudeville act, and then making his way to Broadway with gumption, talent, and the occasional flare up of his ego.

The musical numbers were great, but did start to drag in the later half of the movie.

A third person watched part of the movie with me, and that was my 1 year-old niece.  She was riveted, and applauded at the end of the songs, so a strong endorsement from that age group.

As soldiers sing Over There:
Sergeant on parade: What's the matter, old timer?  Don't you remember this song?
George M. Cohan: Seems to me I do.